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Unfortunately, Seduce Me’s story is almost nonexistent outside of sexual confessions the player unlocks by interacting with people. Many have very thoughtful, dynamic plots that just happen to wrap around the various characters frequently hooking up. Romance novels are not always written poorly.
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A series of images would have taken a lot more time to line up, sure, but they would look a lot better. I wasn’t joking about how explicit these scenes are, but their erotic nature dims when you focus so tightly on part of an image you’ve already seen. That is a very lazy payoff for slogging through a few unpleasant card games. Each revelation, or subsequent sex scene, is merely one graphic image that is then cropped and zoomed in on. A particularly outgoing woman named Cecelia will happily talk to you about topics like “cock-hungry” and “gang bang” without hesitation, and her daughter Lilia really wants you to know she’s one more stable hand beating away from becoming a dominatrix. Should you make it through the games and get a girl to one of her saucy conversation topics, the results are hilariously vulgar. I would chock this up to bad luck, but after continuously failing conversations because the computer threw out a card just low enough to screw me over, it started to feel like it was outright cheating. Careful playing is often undone by a run of the worst cards for your predicament. Most of the time, though, the decks feel stacked against you. In some games you’re racing to get the highest score others require you to keep pace with your opponent. Choices appear as thought and speech bubbles with images of champagne, gossiping, money, and Chihuahuas appearing in various suits like a deck of playing cards. When you strike up a conversation, whether flirty or confrontational, you communicate through various card games. I like repetitive tasks but only those I have control over. Interacting with people at Pietra’s party is perhaps the most annoying thing I’ve ever done in a video game, and this is coming from a person who enjoys continuously capping pens in the infamous Work Time Fun on the PlayStation Portable. They’ll pop up without warning at times, so it’s better to play Seduce Me away from an audience, unless you want your coworker to see how far a scantily clad maid will go to please Pietra’s house guests. Yes, the inevitable sex scenes are also very expertly rendered, leaving very little to the imagination. Oiled bodies glisten in the sun and full, pouting lips shimmer as characters pose in front of you. No Reply selected a very realistic style for Seduce Me’s characters, which likely enhances their appeal when you finally get their clothes off. The characters continue that gleaming, almost sterile theme that makes them feel artificial but approachable in a way. Pietra’s holiday home is a shining white beacon built into a rocky Grecian beach and bears a remarkable resemblance to Tony Stark’s mansion in the live-action Iron Man films.
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If you win, you might just get lucky - or immediately play another round that nullifies any progress you just made. The only problem is that you’ll do this not through conversation but by playing a series of increasingly tedious card games.
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